Real Men Don't Cry

This is a photo of my grandpap. He was a blacksmith by trade. He was what many consider to be a man's man. Besides the requisite metalworking tools, his shop contained a variety of hard liquors and beer, spent pouches of plug tobacco surrounding a spittoon, and ragged copies of old Playboy magazines. I can't remember a time when I visited his shop that there wasn't a gathering of several men just shooting the breeze with him.

One of my strongest memories of him takes me back to my grandmother's funeral. I was five at the time, and I asked if I could ride with him to the cemetery after the service. He obliged, and we rode in complete silence until we got there. After he put the car in park, he pulled out his plug of tobacco and bit off a small chunk, gnawing on it in the silence of the cemetery. I watched him carefully as he surveyed the line of cars coming to a stop. Finally, I spoke.
"Grandpap, are you sad?"
He gnawed for a bit, then sighed.
"I suppose I am a bit sad. What about you?"
Tears welled up in my eyes. Grandpap looked at me, then looked away when he saw the tears that had started to roll down my cheek.
"Now we won't have any of that," he said. Reaching back into his pocket, he pulled the plug of tobacco out and tore a small chunk off, offering it to me.
"Here. This will help make you a man."

Our world has rendered men emotionless. Men don't cry. Men shouldn't show anger. Men shouldn't show mushy displays of love. Men shouldn't grieve. Who came up with these rules? Certainly it wasn't God. In Genesis 6:6, God was "grieved" and "filled with pain." In Mark 3:5, Jesus was "in anger, and deeply distressed." God is also shown displaying his pleasure, and Jesus was documented showing compassion. There are many, many places in the Bible where God or Jesus display emotions, both negative feelings and positive feelings. They certainly didn't hide or squelch these emotions, as they were evident enough to include in the Bible.

Our culture teaches men to stifle emotions, to be in control of their emotions. This is a warped version of what the Bible teaches. We should experience our emotions, not control them. Control should be aligned with the actions we take when feeling emotions. We can and should be angry at times, but that doesn't mean we should punch someone in the throat when we're angry. We should grieve, but when we are done properly grieving, we can take solace in God's promise of everlasting life for those who are His.

"Real men don't cry."

While that may be true in the eyes of our culture, real Christian men do cry, and they ask God to help them control the actions that arise from their emotions.

God, help me to express all of my emotions with earnestness, and guide me as I strive to honor You in all of my actions.